When you examine the spiritual authenticity of your life, you know that only your verification can make it true.

“There is a vast, enormous difference between words and reality.” – Robert Burton 

I meditated in a cave with a saintly hermit in the Himalayas, had dinner with a conscious being in California, and was struck by a stone in Meher Baba’s ashram in India. Did I have actual spiritual experiences or imagined ones making me feel good? Was I fooled into believing all this was my way of awakening? I had never asked who I was beyond all these endeavors, but now I begin to question.

Reality appears occasionally in me, and I understand that we all have our truths. Whether sitting in a cave wearing a loincloth or having elaborate dinners in an ornate dining room filled with art objects, it is all the same truth. When I am present, I realize these settings have nothing to do with my inner actuality.

I have spent my entire life trying to discover my true identity. This quest to become a more conscious human has been a rollercoaster ride, taking me from moments of despair to pure joy. I now realize that every struggle I face is essential to my journey and cannot be avoided. Each mistake I have made and every identity I have borrowed are necessary stepping stones toward a genuine reality.

I do not fit into a particular category, such as an adventurous free spirit, a devoted Fourth Way student, or an entrepreneur trying to make money. Instead, I am a traveler on the Road of Awakening. I observe different traditions as they unfold inside me and explore the avenues that present themselves. I understand that everything I have experienced is happening for a specific purpose – to awaken consciousness within me. It is this dormant consciousness that has been silently waiting to be discovered and has been guiding me on my spiritual journey.

Find Your Truth

I am trying to find Reality, and I understand now that I must search for my truth without often knowing where to search. Life has given me so many options; they are all so colorful, but what is my color?

After all these endeavors, I know that awakening is a personal, strange story that emerges in a maze of opportunities and dead ends. However, when something miraculous happens, all of my questions disappear. I can then understand its meaning, as it is a deeply personal experience. When I gain this understanding beyond common knowledge, I glimpse Reality.

We all search for certainty, but there is seldom certainty on the level of an evolving soul. To find authenticity, we must question the legitimacy of our experiences. While we all strive for belonging and meaning, true awakening often comes from facing defeat and insecurity. It’s important to remember that we frequently deceive ourselves when we think we know something.

Reality is the earth spinning around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour, and you are still angry because somebody cut you off with their car. Reality is the earth rotating around its axis at 1000 miles per hour for 4.5 billion years, and you can hardly handle a single rotation without feeling negative.

Matter is not made of Matter

Our perception of the world is that of solid substance, but physics has revealed that this is far from true. Even those who are not spiritual in the ordinary sense can understand that atoms, including their building blocks of neutrons, electrons, and protons, are just energy. There is nothing out there, only conscious energy.

More than a century ago, scientists realized that atoms were largely empty space. The solidity we experience is due to the bonds binding atoms together in molecular structures and the corresponding forces holding molecules together. This bonding strength makes it almost impossible for one physical structure to interpenetrate another, leading to the perception of solidity.

With the advent of quantum theory, we see that even sub-atomic particles are far from being the solid “particles” we imagine them to be. They are more like fuzzy clouds of potential existence.

Whatever matter is, it is not made of matter. There is nothing there! So, the house you built and the car you drive are not real. If you wrap your head around this concept, your belief system is challenged.

Who Are You?

Discover your true identity and relinquish your certainty. Be humble and recognize that your perceived Reality is merely an illusion. Think about the Jains in India who sweep the ground before them while walking and wear mouthpieces to avoid harming ants and flies. This practice is an enduring reality that goes beyond any individual preference. Do you have a reality beyond your daily existence and personal gains? Something that could persist even after your life is over?

Regarding esoteric matters, we often behave like children seeking guidance. However, as we mature, we realize nobody can instruct us on what to do. Other people’s enlightenment is merely an example, a roadmap for our spiritual awakening. Find your path and discover your truth. Only fools imitate others – Who Are You, indeed?

“Do not worship deities and religious institutions as the source of the subtle truth. To do so is to place intermediaries between yourself and the divine and to make yourself a beggar who looks outside for a treasure hidden inside his breast.

If you want to worship the Tao, first discover it in your heart. Then your worship will be meaningful.”

– Lao Tzu, Hua Hu Ching, #17

This article is by Klaus Labuttis, a practitioner of the Fourth Way for four decades.  For more of his articles, see: https://fourthwaytoday.org/author/klaus-labuttis/.